I was sitting at home watching the new documentary for Tony Robbins on Netflix and this topic came to mind. He was beginning an intervention with someone who attended his seminar and she was talking about her father, whom had a very strained relationship with her growing up. She talked about how he was a drug user, was never around, etc… when Tony started to ask her about what the good things he did for her in her life. She began to switch her mindset talking about the times that he took care of her and so on. She actually called him that night in which they talked for a few hours mending their relationship. It was simply a quick shift of the mindset from the bad things, to the good.
So what does it mean to focus on the good? As humans we often look for the easy road to travel and traverse whether it is in our habits or in our daily lives and mindsets. We tend to avoid conflict and are starting to even avoid face to face communication as we continue to drown ourselves with new forms of media. Talking about the things we don’t like or focusing on flaws is the quick and easy route. It’s actually grounded in the synapses in your brain. When something bad happens or something goes wrong that experience is almost burnt into your brain, where as a good experience moves quickly and does not linger.
Looking back at my life, it’s something that I struggled with very early on, especially in the relationship with my father. I for so long was focused on the things that he wouldn’t do for me or why he was such a bad parent and because of this I was very distant from him. It took some maturing and time away before I began to realize what he sacrificed for me, and what he did for my family to give us every opportunity that he could. I now have an extremely strong relationship with him and have been so blessed to be able to create so many memories with him. What relationships in your life do you continue to focus on the bad in those people? Time to change.
While I know it’s easy to start pointing out the flaws of people and why an experience may have been bad, but why not take the hard road and focus on the good. We need more optimists in the world that is already having streaks of misery and hate throughout it. In each good moment dwell a few seconds, or even minutes, allow your brain to revel in the good, instead of being burned by the bad. Find and seek the good in all people. Enjoy your life because we seem to forget how much of a blessing each day is. Focus on the good.