Vulnerability is defined as having the capability to be wounded physically and emotionally. It is a capacity that we all as humans have and sometimes experience. In my opinion, vulnerability truly is an emotional state. It goes beyond just the physical limits of what our body can handle and breaks down your mind to a very raw and basic state. It is also the last part to creating extremely meaningful and long lasting bonds. Let’s talk.
In nature we can see that elements bond with other elements to create different compounds. The bond between elements in these compounds is very strong and in certain elements, when this bond is broken, largescale releases of energy can take place. This release of energy is very damaging and often catastrophic to the surrounding area. We see this being taken advantage of in the military with some of our weapons such as atomic and hydrogen bombs. These bonds are some of the strongest we see in nature, yet they are holding together a simplistic building block, elements. They are the most bare and basic form of the things that make up our world. These elements alone may not do much, but when bonded together create amazing things, such as water. I believe this concept is just as true with our bonds with other people.
True vulnerability happens when emotional walls are broken down, as I said earlier. Physical limits do allow you to become vulnerable, but the bond created is not as strong. When we let down our walls and allow people in we are in our most simple and open state, just like elements in nature. Breaking people down to an emotional state is quite hard and most people often do not experience this feeling very often or very quickly.
In part one and two I talked about how we can recreate this vulnerability through two actions. One being unique opportunities and the second being enormous limits. These help break down the walls you have and allow for you to be more open with the people in your life. This is why I grew so close with my friends in wrestling and why people in the military consider each other family. We/they went beyond just physical limits and broke down mentally, allowing for a much stronger bond to be built. The problem is fear. We know we all have this capacity, but we do not want to tap into it for the fear of being hurt. It’s just as in nature when such a strong bond is broken, large amounts of damage can happen. If the bond we built in this vulnerable state is broken we are often left devastated. That’s why it takes such a toll on us when we have a break up, or lose a friend or family member. We can’t fear this feeling, it’s a part of life.
This vulnerable state can be tricked though. We can put ourselves into a state of vulnerability and create a bond with someone we may not have wanted to. Desperation, it’s a state of mind that allows you to get to the feeling of vulnerability quickly, yet you may be forcing yourself to bond with the wrong person. I think this is one of the factors in why we have such a high divorce rate in our country. We have people that get into a mindset of desperation and settle for a person that they may not believe to be right. A bond is created quickly, but does not last as we were not truly exposed and did not break down those walls we hide behind. Desperation is a mindset we have to avoid as we continue to move forward and grow while building bonds with other people.
We have to continue to build bonds and grow relationships with new people. It is the reason why we have survived as a human race for so long. We can’t be afraid of getting hurt. Being vulnerable will allow you to build very real and unbreakable bonds with people. So go out, meet someone new. Try something different. Find unique opportunities and challenge those enormous limits, to not only grow as a person, but to grow with the amazing people of the world and build unshakeable and truly meaningful bonds.